*doesn’t check bank account*
*pretends everything is fine*
Tbh I’m afraid to go to Portland. I’ve heard bad things about it and everyone who lives there, including its local squirrels and mushrooms, no offense.
What if I get attacked by a gang of kombucha homebrewers? What if a young tattooed couple hits me with their $1400 baby stroller? What if someone hands me a hempen flyer for a Christian hot yoga meetup? It’s too dangerous.
All of those sound like it’s still worth it.
i remember when we broke up
the first time
saying, “this is it, i’ve had enough,”
we hadn’t seen each other in a month
We Talked about this.
Just a reminder
Raise your hand if you’re straddling the line between crippling anxiety and not giving any fucks about anything
KIDS REACT TO existentialism and the inevitability of death
the fact that people think in different accents really gets to me
some of the most sensitive areas of the female body
look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys
porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable.
Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny
Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL!
- me: forgets i'm wearing eyeliner
- me: rubs eyelid
- me: who the hell is bucky